I choose the road full of promises, and embrace the head full of doubt.

November 1, 2024 – 6:40 AM

I’m currently sitting in the mountains outside of Wolf Creek, Oregon, just north of the California border. I’ve been at my buddy's land all day, enjoying the solitude of nature and trying to dry my stuff out. I made a colossal error in taking all my winter clothes to California the last time I took gear down, and I am paying for it with wet everything! The little things that you learn as you become a nomad! Last night, working on some carpentry for my car and enjoyed the peace of nature. Now, it’s time to hit the road. I can’t wait. I will start packing as soon as the sun is fully up and I can see.

That said, I feel a tinge of sadness since my 46th birthday is just two days away. It’s the one day each year I can always count on talking to both my mother and father. Exactly one year ago today, my father surprised me with one of the biggest surprises of my life.

The previous year, Nikon had announced the release of the Z9, one of the most advanced full-frame, mirrorless cameras you could buy. It was far beyond my budget—a piece of gear I could only imagine. Even a year after its release, COVID-related shortages meant it was nearly impossible to get. I’d heard that even Nikon executives struggled to find one. So, on this day last year, my dad called me and said, “Son, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get the camera for you. Things are tight here, and nobody has one in stock, so you’ll have to wait longer. I’m sorry.” I told him, “Dad, I don’t need such a ridiculously awesome camera. If it doesn’t happen, don’t worry about it.”

Then, on November 2, I was working at my desk when I got a notification about a package at my UPS mailbox. I hadn’t ordered anything, so I was curious. I nearly passed out when the clerk came around the corner with a box taped with a B&H Photography logo. My hands shook as I signed for it and opened the box immediately. Inside was the camera. Just then, my phone rang—it was my dad. Laughing, he said, “I got you! I love you, son. Make me proud with that camera.” I still have the handwritten note he included, which now holds a place of honor on my dashboard.

One thing I know for sure is that I am not meant to be a “business human.” Even though this birthday will be tinged with sadness, I’m grateful I’ll celebrate with people who really care about me. I also just realized that this will be the first birthday in three years when I will actually be around other people, which I am so grateful for.